Learning Self-love While In A Relationship. If you want to try out a bold look but feel hesitant, tell yourself: ‘A confident person doesn’t care what other people think and I’m a confident person and I like this outfit so I’ll wear it!’. Every thought resonates through your mind and body and creates a vibration which will make those thoughts a reality. While these insights aren’t anything new, I felt compelled to examine this concept in more depth because for some reason, I think most of us put this very vital knowledge on the back burner. Remember that it’s hard for you to gain the confidence to find happiness within … In order to find true happiness in life, you need to work on yourself and make a few adjustments to the way you live your life. We’ve all been told that before you can find a healthy, happy, loving relationship, it is essential to love yourself. 7 Reasons Why a Life Without Purpose is Unfulfilling, How to Make Changes in Life To Be the Best Version of You, 17 Ways for Building Resilience and Staying Tough. And it's something I was flush with just last week, despite a total travel nightmare. When being in this state, it’s easier to keep your optimism and vacant mood. Discover the best Happiness Self-Help in Best Sellers. “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere” ~Agnes Repplier. If I start thinking, ‘Ugh, I’m so tired, I so do not wanna do any work today,’ I’ll identify that this is a negative thought that is of no value to me and then say the exact opposite, ‘I am so energized! But how does one cultivate such a love? Some of us gave up crafts at the ripe age of 13, but I’m telling you—pick it back up. Well from now on, stop entertaining these thoughts! Having a significant other is a wonderful thing, but it isn’t the only thing and it certainly doesn’t make you complete, despite what the Hallmark cards might say. I would definitely recommend this book to any women who may be having issues within a relationship or with the men in their life in general. This didn’t happen magically, it took some work and a major attitude overall which was done using the tips listed below. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Not surprisingly, the relationship didn’t last and it was only in the years after that I realized the reason why: I was looking outside myself for love and approval, a fatal misstep I see committed all the time. Once again, you have the power to find happiness within yourself. I’m going to get so much done today!’ It may sound silly, but trust me, it works. If you don’t want to have a bad day or feel bad about yourself, then start thinking great thoughts! Everyone knows that during depression a person colors the world in gray tones: the surrounding people seem angry and sad, and the reality around loses its color. A technique I like to use is to think the exact opposite when a bad thought enters my mind. While it feels amazing to be in a stable relationship, you don't want your whole life to revolve around your SO. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. Take some time to be alone, find a … Saying I wanted a boyfriend had a very clear underlying message- I wanted to be loved, desired, to feel good about myself, to have someone there to make me feel good about myself when I didn’t. Deep connections with family, friends, and … It can be difficult to be in a relationship if you don’t have a great deal of self-love. Healthcare Phobia, and 3 Ways to Overcome it, 9 Ways to Truly Find Happiness Within Yourself, Tasty and Healthy Weight Loss Snacks to Reach Your Goals Fast, 11 Amazing Health Benefits of Garlic (Backed by Science), 10 Expert Tips for Computer Eye Strain Relief, What to Eat After a Workout? A common piece of advice is that you have to learn to love yourself before you even get into a relationship. My motivation for this post came the other day while reading Feeling Good by David D. Burns (a book I highly recommend), specifically this passage: “People who have found happiness within themselves are usually the most desirable to members of the opposite sex and become like magnets because they are at peace and generate a sense of joy.” While these insights aren’t anything new, I felt compelled to examine this concept in more depth because for some reason, I think most of us put this very vital knowledge on the back burner. These tweaks are actually pretty simple and if you do it right, you will attain the kind of genuine happiness most people spend their lives pursuing. P – physical exercise, I – intellectual stimulation, E – emotional stimulation, S – spiritual stimulation. When a negative thought pops into your head, cut it off right then and there. If you’re afraid of approaching a guy because you’re scared he’ll reject you, well say to yourself, ‘A confident person doesn’t fear rejection because a confident person knows they’re fabulous and knows they’re a catch in every sense and whoever doesn’t see that is missing out. Paperback. Using your creativity is a great step in the process of learning how to find happiness within yourself. An insult? Be difficult to be more confident, then do what makes you feel good about,... Emotionally Distant relationship, it ’ s easier to keep your optimism vacant... Vacant mood s easier to keep your optimism and vacant mood in process. 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